Going Loco is a fictional story in the Transformers: Renegade Rhetoric series episode 6. Written in 2016, it retroactively took place in an unaired second season of the Challenge of the GoBots animated series.
The Renegades steal the water from the Fountain of Youth, and it's up to the Robo Rebels to stop them.
Question: Dear Cy-Kill, Are you a fan of westerns?
Cy-Kill: I tend to find all so-called "popular" entertainment produced on Earth to be mindless drivel. Although not all of my troops feel so inclined. Loco, in particular, enjoys the genre. Perhaps that is what prompted him to volunteer to track the Robo Rebels to a dude ranch in Utah.
You see, Matt, Nick, and A.J. were enjoying a vacation, showing off parts of Earth's history to the Robo Rebels on their very first visit to Earth. Their trip to the Los Jóvenes Dude Ranch, in particular, was a big hit. Raizor, in particular, responded to the imagery and iconography of the American West. The elderly proprietor, Juan, was friendly, and seemed almost blase about the presence of alien cyborgs on his ranch. The youthful staff, Billy, David, Janie, Jess, and Ann, were more excited but still more than a little off. And Nick kept musing that they seemed oddly familiar...
Little did the Guardians know, the ranch they were on held a great secret. Soon, the irreverent Super Couper traversed a roped-off area he wasn't supposed to be in and discovered that the staff of the ranch was, in fact, many of the legends of the frontier. Billy was Wild Bill Hickok. David was Davy Crockett. Janie was Calamity Jane. Jes was Jesse James. Ann was Annie Oakley. Juan was none other than the 14th century explorer, Ponce de León. It seemed the ranch was build upon the mystical structure known as the Fountain of Youth. In his youth, Ponce de León discovered the artifact and altered the history books to keep the fountain's true location a secret, almost two thousand miles northwest of where it purported to lie.
At first, the 19th century legends were nervous to be discovered, but the Guardians assured them that they could keep a secret. Unfortunately for them, they were not alone; Loco had witnessed the whole thing. He tracked Juan back to the fountain and when he was alone, pumped the water into a tanker car and carted it all away by rail, to the nearby Renegade listening post. Once inside, he and Vain Train distilled the fountain's water down to its essence, a powerful anti-chroniton agglutination that could freeze a GoBot's body in time, making him immune to all damage.
Meanwhile, Janie was starting to show signs of aging and went to the fountain, accompanied by A.J. She was horrified to find the fountain dried up, for it meant she would have only days to live. A.J. noticed GoBot-sized tracks in the dirt, and they tracked it to a nearby rail spur. Realizing that Loco was the culprit, they returned to Los Jóvenes and the Robo Rebels vowed to restore the fountain. They attacked our listening post, only to be easily trounced by Loco. Their blasters bounced off his armor, completely ineffectually. The cowards retreated back to Los Jóvenes, licking their wounds, although Raizor and Super Couper had to drag Bent Wing, who refused to yield despite her completely ineffectual weapons.
Loco laughed, and said that he was going to destroy the Robo Rebels as proof that he was the most powerful Renegade and should be a part of my core team, not Crasher. Vain Train asked if he could take the anti-chroniton agglutination, but Loco was jealous and would not share his advantage, even with a fellow rail engine. He locked up the agglutination, then went to Los Jóvenes, intent on finishing the job.
Despite their age, the ranch hands were among the best cowboys and outlaws in history. Invulnerable though Loco was, he hadn't counted on the various pits, rock traps, and painted wooden Guardians the lot of them had arrayed against him. Davy Crockett and Wild Bill Hickok ran rings around my train-brained minion; Loco couldn't smash the Guardians he couldn't catch.
Super Couper and Tail Pipe, along with Jesse James and Calamity Jane, used the distraction to to the listening post. Super Couper and Jesse James disabled Vain Train, Calamity Jane cracked the lock, and Tail Pipe reversed the formula, restoring the concentrated anti-chronitons to their liquid form. They radioed back to the ranch, to share the good news.
Loco was pretty steamed by this point, so when Raizor stepped out and challenged him to an old-fashioned duel, he quickly accepted, thinking himself invulnerable. He was shocked when not only was Raizor quicker on the draw, but the blow struck home and disabled him, allowing Bent Wing and Annie Oakley to hogtie him. Fortunately for me, Vain Train was able to recover and rescue the humiliated Loco, though our listening post was hopelessly compromised.With the fountain restored, things returned to normal at Los Jóvenes. The UNECOM humans promised not to file a report, and the Robo Rebels likewise promised to keep this adventure "off-the-books." "Besides," quipped Matt, "they wouldn't believe us if we told them!" That got a good laugh from all assembled.
|Ponce de León
|Wild Bill Hickok
- On December 21st, 2015 the Ask Vector Prime Facebook page posted a fictional list of the unaired episodes of Challenge of the GoBots season 2, which listed "Going Loco" as season 2 episode 6, which was supposed to air November 5th, 1986.
- "Going Loco". Written by Jim Sorenson. Transformers: Renegade Rhetoric. November 5th, 1986/February 3rd, 2016. No. 6, season 1.