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Go-Girl is an episode of Transformers: Renegade Rhetoric described on the Renegade Rhetoric Facebook page.


Source Text

The following was posted on Facebook on February 4, 2016 [1]

Dear Cy-Kill, who's your favorite super-hero?

As if I would be caught reading your tawdry Earth comic books! But your question does remind me of a brush the Renegades had with a self-styled superhero of our own. That particular escapade began in the UNECOM laboratory of the human scientist Professor Macdonald Guffin, who had called upon the Guardians to help study the new element he had synthesized. They were the only ones who could do so safely, as he calculated that metallic GoBot bodies would be immune to any radioactive or chemical injury from the mysterious new substance that he termed "MacGuffium." Of course, Scooter jumped at the chance, and Small Foot, A.J., and Nick all accompanied him to Guffin's lab--but Small Foot and A.J. soon found the rigorous study to which Scooter and the professor subjected the MacGuffium to be boring, and began to hunger for some action. "Be careful what you wish for, twerps!" came a cackling reply, as Crasher, Cop-Tur, and myself smashed through the laboratory wall, intent on taking the MacGuffium for our own. Alas, in the course of the brief battle, a stray blaster shot from Cop-Tur struck the MacGuffium, initiating a chain reaction that pushed it towards explosion. Ever the masters of self-preservation, we Renegades quickly made ourselves scarce, while the Guardians and their allies took cover... only for A.J. to notice that the professor been knocked out during the fight. She broke cover to drag him to safety, just managing to push him behind one of the lab's protective screens before the MacGuffium detonated, bathing her in its strange radiation!

A few hours later, A.J. awoke in a UNECOM infirmary, seemingly none the worse for wear. Scooter and Guffin were both adamant that she be thoroughly studied to make sure she was all right, but the isolation of quarantine soon began to get to A.J., and she easily convinced Small Foot into letting her out of the infirmary so she could get some fresh air. While the pair were driving through city streets, they came upon an apartment building that was being consumed by a fire. All the building's occupants appeared to have been evacuated, but a lone child's cries were then heard from a top-floor window. Without thinking, A.J. raced into the inferno, where she found the infant in question pinned beneath a collapsed beam. With a surge of strength, A.J. hauled the beam off the child and carried outside to safety. It was only as the adrenaline began to wear off that A.J. realized how easily she had lifted such a great weight... at which point, part of the building collapsed, and a ton of rubble came cascading down on top of her! But after a tense moment, the masonry was suddenly hurled aside, as A.J. emerged from beneath the debris without a scratch on her! Looking down at her own hands, A.J. realized that the MacGuffium radiation had granted her super-powers, and after a moment of silence, the crowd erupted in cheers for this new hero in their midst. "You GO, girl!" one bystander whooped.

"Hmn," thought A.J., "Go-Girl..."

Well, needless to say, what followed was exactly as you expect. Wearing a makeshift costume and performing brash acts of heroism, the super-strong, super-tough, super-fast "Go-Girl"--with Small Foot as her "Go-Mobile" - started making headlines. Everything from stopping bank heists to rescuing cats stuck in trees--a positively sickening misuse of such power! The girl started to think herself invincible, refusing to take advice from anyone--even Small Foot began to question her judgement when she started taking bigger and bigger risks, pushing her powers to dangerous limits. After all, Small Foot pointed out, how did they even know her new abilities were permanent? But fame and power had gone to A.J.'s head; why would she need waste time thinking anything through when no harm could come to her? The two had a huge argument, which ended with Go-Girl deciding to "go it alone"!

That was the perfect moment for my Renegades to strike. As a steaming-mad Small Foot was on her way back to the Command Center, we jumped the young GoBot and captured her. I personally sent an ultimatum to Go-Girl, promising her that Small Foot's life would be forfeit if she did not use her super-powers in MY service! Warned against alerting the other Guardians, the resigned super-ZERO stole all that I desired, from exotic technology and weaponry to gold, jewels, and cash. "GO-GIRL GOES BAD!" the newspapers proclaimed! Ah, a most excellent jape. Though upon reflection, I fear it might have been a bit aimless as schemes go. Do you know, I can't event recall what my endgame was going to be? Regardless, things came to an end soon enough when, just as she was about to carry out the theft of a priceless jewel I desired, A.J. discovered that her super-powers had vanished. Just as Small Foot had warned--just as A.J. herself had refused to accept the possibility of--the MacGuffium radiation had at last worn off! Knowing that I would destroy Small Foot if I thought that "Go-Girl" was no longer of use to me, A.J. was left desperate...

Imagine the surprise on the faces of the Guardians a short time later when Go-Girl was caught in the act smuggling a hunk of newly-synthesized MacGuffium out of Guffin's lab! Her friends tried to talk her down, but she manage to evade them and get away, apologizing profusely, but insisting that she NEEDED the element. An attempt to regain the super-powers she had lost? You would be forgiven for thinking so.

Within the hour, she met with me and my Renegades in the warehouse we were using to stockpile out loot, and presented me with a box that she claimed contained the successfully-purloined jewel. I gleefully opened the box as Crasher and Cop-Tur leaned in to look... only for all three of us to be hit full-force by the explosion of a chunk of destabilized MacGuffium! Racing past our sprawled bodies, A.J. undid Small Foot's bonds, explaining that the loss of her powers had FINALLY forced her to stop and think, like everyone had been telling her to. Rather than charge into action, she had put her mind to work and come up with a way to save her friend. Disoriented and weakened by the blast but still furious, I tried to grab the girl, but Small Foot leapt to her defense, blasting me across the warehouse. Willing to cut my losses, I called retreat, leaving our ill-gotten goods behind. "That takes care of them!" Small Foot puffed out her chest. "We'd better get all this stuff back to where it belongs, and explain to everyone at the Command Center what happened!"

"Thanks, Small Foot!" AJ grinned. "You're MY hero!"