The Stolen Moon

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The Stolen Moon is an episode of Transformers: Renegade Rhetoric described on the Ask Vector Prime Facebook page during it's time as Renegade Rhetoric hosted by Cy-Kill.

Source Text

The following was posted on Facebook on October 21, 2016.

Dear Renegade Rhetoric, What was your most audacious adventure?

Cy-Kill: Hmmm... it is probably the time I stole a moon.

I had Dr. Go modify Rogue Star's two primary particle beam cannons into the largest astrobeam ever created. I dispatched Fitor to beam the communication moon of GoBotron to my secret base in the Magellanic Nebulae, outside of the galaxy itself! I had forty-eight hours with the moon all to myself... or so I thought. Leader-1 had crashed on the planet moments before we had beamed it away. He was damaged, but we had no idea he was there.

I went in with a team of seven Renegades to plumb it's secrets. Leader-1 engaged with my forces one-by-one. He had eliminated half my forces before I even realized he was present, using the communicator he stole from Bugsie to get the drop on them. His dogfight with Sky-Jack in the hollow holographic core of the moon was what alerted us. In another time I could have appreciated our F-14 Tomcat vs his F-15 Eagle. By the time he had defeated Sky-Jack and vanished into the moon's superstructure, there was only Vain Train, Stinger, and I left. Stinger he electrocuted in the moon's power core, and Vain Train he blasted with the moon's coolant.

By that time it was down to just the two of us. We engaged outside of the moon's supercomputer, containing every Guardian encryption algorithm ever devised. I was moments away from achieving my objective, with only one badly maimed Guardian before me. He was burned, frozen, battered, limping, and out of blaster energy. I offered him the chance to surrender with dignity, which he refused, rushing at me with a jagged pipe. I defeated him handily, of course, for I am more than a match for him in optimal condition and he was far from.

I taunted him, allowing myself a moment of joviality, saying something to the effect of the time of his defeat being at hand. Imagine my surprise when he started laughing, quite uncharacteristically. I was perplexed, until I heard his taunts. "It's YOUR time that's up, Cy-Kill!" He was right! Even as I raised my hands to blast him into oblivion, he and the moon faded out of existence, returning to its original position in orbit around GoBotron, with its codes once again out of my grasp.

Although the experience, at the time, was nothing but frustrating, as I look back I say to myself, so what if I didn't get the Guardian ciphers. I stole a moon.

Joel W. Vanhoose: Impressive! And your arch-enemy put up quite an effort as well! Do you entirely hate Leader-1, or is there some small measure of mutual respect for his abilities and determination?

Cy-Kill: I... admit a certain begrudging admiration for my old friend's tenacity, misguided though it may be.

Christopher Colgin: You're mentioned a team of seven Renegades. Who were the other two?

Cy-Kill: Bug Bite, whom he knocked a pallet of girders onto, and Water Walk, whom he shoved in front of an active communication laser at point-blank range.